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Itty Bitty Audiobook Review: I’d Like to Play Alone, Please by Tom Segura

Not what I was expecting,
but unsurprisingly excellent.

From Tom Segura, the massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.

Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. 
In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom’s time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. 
I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura’s message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.


This review contains language some may find offensive.
I’m not sorry, I’m just letting you know.

I love dark comedy. I like my comedy dark enough that I’ve often been hesitant to recommend a special to friends. One of the darker comedians I absolutely love is Tom Segura. I didn’t discover Tom’s comedy until his 2020 Netflix special Ball Hog came out. I have watched that special more times than I should admit to and I still lose my shit laughing every damn time. It’s the type of humor that makes you say, “that’s so fucked up,” between full belly laughs and gasps for air. He’d probably be thrilled to know that every once in a while, I’ll be doing dishes and start singing, “shit, piss, motherfucker, cunt, my balls, lick my dick, eat my ass,” because it and the stupid little dance he does while singing it are permanently lodged in my brain. After Ball Hog, I binged every special and YouTube clip I could find. I quickly became addicted to the Your Mom’s House podcast with his wife and fellow dark comedian Christina P (her Netflix special Mother Inferior is awesome and also not for the easily offended).

I expected this book to be similar to Corey Taylor’s You’re Making Me Hate You but not so angry. Instead of the cranky rantings of a rockstar-turned-curmudgeon, I figured it would be Segura’s signature style of comedy: blunt observations and expressions of annoyances that none of us admit to having. Not out loud, anyway.

His book is nothing like that.

I’d Like to Play Alone, Please is a wonderful collection of essays in which Segura tells candid stories about his family, life as a comedian, and memorable celebrity encounters. And occasionally, he even imparts insightful pearls of wisdom. Don’t get me wrong, though. This is not a self-help book or a how-to guide on the world of stand-up comedy or podcasting. It is, however, a road map that explains a lot about the man himself and often shows a much softer side of him than his comedy would have you believe exists.

And there are moments that are hilarious. I mean, a more serious side or not, it’s still written by Tom Segura. I was laughing like a lunatic while driving. During one listening session, I was at a stop light with my sunroof open and I had the audiobook playing. One of the jokes he cracked made her scowl at me and close her window. 🤣🤣🤣 #NotSorry

That’s another thing: the audiobook is read by Tom. If you’re familiar with his comedy or the podcast, you will know that Tom Segura has an infectious laugh. There are moments while reading the book where that signature giggle gets rolling and you cant help but laugh along.

Five stars, all the way.

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