I’m beyond tired, way over-worked, and all writer’s block-y. #verbalvomit

Well, the writer’s block part of that headline isn’t entirely true.  I dont have a full-on case.  It’s more like I want to write everything EXCEPT any of my current works in progress.  For instance, the Jena’s Top 50 Most Beautiful Men post that I’ve been working on for over a month???  Yeah, that bad mammajamma is now over 9,000 words long…..and still not done (I’m working on the 50th boy now)……

Additionally, I’ve been busting my hind parts working on my clients’ needs over on Pure Textuality PR.  We consolidated a few different websites we had all down to the one site for ease of use, and it was a metric shit ton of work to get it to a point where it was fully functional (I also do all of the website management).  It’s meant a lot of nights where I am up working until 2am or 3am, and then still drag myself out of bed every day at 6am….

I still work a full time day job, too.  I would love to have writing as my primary source of income, but that’s just not the case yet.  In the meantime, I’m trying to make Pure Textuality PR my full time profession with writing as a secondary job.  In addition to this, I have a son who just started kindergarten and a daughter who just started high school.  So, for those keeping track, I’m a mom, work full-time for a large financial  corporation, I’m running a full-service PR company, work as a personal assistant, organizing a conference, writing four books simultaneously, and somewhere in there, I am supposed to find time to be Jena.  I hit a point where I ran out of steam.

I’m not saying I would quit any of it.  I really do love everything I do, including my day job.  Even if my writing was reduced down to something I only did as a hobby because no one was reading it but me, I’d still love it.  lol  I never get sick of any it.  The industry is constantly changing, and for an ADD case like me, that’s a perfect cocktail.

I never get sick of it, but I do get worn out.  And I’m not the only one.  I’m watching a lot of my author friends who are in the same boat as me (family and full time job on top of writing).  I’m watching a lot of them come to the same conclusion as me, too.  You have to force yourself to take a moment to breathe or you will burn out.

To top it all off, a big part of the PR and writing career require that I be on social media.  A lot.  Specifically Facebook.  Normally, this is absolutely fine.  For the past few months, it has been EXHAUSTING.  For those of you outside of the U.S., we are all currently drowning in political HELL.  I am sooooooooooooo sick of it already and we still have over a year of this bullshit to endure.  I was raised in a very open-minded house which was not at all religious.  My father is an atheist and my mom is agnostic, so they had one strict rule: a person’s spirituality is a very personal thing and you should never force your own beliefs on others.  They allowed me to find my own path and believe what I believe, not force me to believe what they believed.  They also approached politics the same way.  You educate yourself, stay informed, and vote for the man (or woman) you feel will do the best job.

I was also taught that regardless of your political views, the President of the United States of America is due a certain level of respect.  He is the PoTUS.  So, seeing people I care about and respect flat out calling the President a terrorist blows my mind.  I’m watching my entire generation turn into a bunch of pricks who openly accuse our President of being lumped in with the same people who brought down the World Trade Center and are currently using mustard on the innocent people of Syria.  That is not right.  I dont know if it is me or those around me who have changed, but I just think it’s wrong.  He’s still the President and he’s due a certain amount of a respect as a result.  The man was elected to office, so the majority of the country put him there.  If you dont like the job he’s doing, you should have gotten off your couch to vote for someone else.  If you did, your guy lost.  Accept it and move on.  I hated Goerge W. Bush.  The man has the collective brain power of a kitchen sponge and now that he is no longer president, I have no problem saying so, but while he was in office, he was the PoTUS and I regarded him as such.

Then there is the joke of a circus that is our current candidates’ campaigns.  I never thought I would see the day that Donald Trump not only running for President, but actually having a shot at it.  smh…

To top everything off, we are living in the height of outrage culture.  People become offended and infuriated when something happens.  It lasts fifteen minutes until the next outrageous thing happens, and then they no longer even remember the things they were outraged by once it’s a week old!  It’s reached a point of ridiculousness I cant even take any more.

And the worst of my disgust with social media came when the anniversary of 9/11 happened on Friday.  I watch friend after friend on Facebook, the same friends who get all butt-hurt and outraged when someone does something that they find offensive, post pictures of the events of 9/11.  I’m talking frame-by-frame screen shots of the 2nd tower being hit and each tower falling, and it made me sick.  It was downright tasteless!  No matter your views, I think everyone can agree that those pictures are essentially pictures of thousands of people dying.  People who were someone’s loved ones.  Do you really think those people want to keep seeing those images fourteen years later?  Just stop for a minute and put yourself in their shoes.  You would never go to the mother of a man who was shot dead and send her pictures of the crime scene and murder weapon on the anniversary of his death every year.  Why the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck would you keep posting those pictures like that?  It’s just cruel.  That’s not a slam to the memorial posts.  Those are beautiful and those embody #neverforget.  I ended up posting that I was shutting down Facebook for the day, why, and I just immersed myself in Dance With the Devil.

Never Forget

Something in me has changed recently, I think.  Something that makes me more aware of certain things.  The whole situation with the Syrian refugees has given me some serious clarity.  While we’re all bitching about petty things, these people are fleeing their homes and everything they know just for the chance of being safe, and a lot of them are dying for it.  I dont know why that particular situation has hit me the way it has, it’s certainly not the only awful thing happening around the globe, but it struck a nerve.  I dont know how people can think it’s okay to cause a national media event of refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples when there are much more important things going on in the world than keeping two people who love each other from getting married.  It’s asinine.  It’s exhausting to watch.  *shrug*  Very exhausting and highly disappointing.

So, with all of that being said, I am stepping back from Facebook a bit.  I’m not closing down my profile or anything, but for the majority of my online time, I’m going to stick to my favorite haunts – Twitter, Instagram, my Facebook fanpages, and this blog.  I’m also making a promise before all of you today that I am no longer reposting or sharing anything that contributes to the outrage culture problem online.  It may just be me, but I’m one less person adding to it, and I can sleep better at night knowing I’m not part of the problem.

As for my writing, with all of these things combined, exhaustion being the biggest piece of the equation, writing has been difficult.  I’ve been totally unfocused, but I’m finally getting back into the swing of things.  I got a lot done on Dance With the Devil on 9/11, and it was more than I’ve written in about five weeks.  It felt really good to just shut the world out and dive back into it.  It gave me a renewed ambition, I guess.  I’m still having some focus problems, but it’s definitely getting better.

I’ve also fallen back in love with the blogging world.  I have a packed full calendar on Pure Textuality and we are relaunching Smutty Little Sister tomorrow.  I’m excited and really looking forward to throwing myself back into that as well.

So, I’m signing off for the day.  I’m actually about to curl up with my Galaxy Note to work on Dance With the Devil some more in the comfort of my bed.  I dont feel well at all today and that’s one of the perks of having that phone.  *wink wink*

artislove

Jena Sig XXX

 

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